Week 20 Newsletter

[Saxmania]

Match Reports

Wolverines power ascendant; Kill bide their time

Michigan Wolverines (347) won at Rhode Kill (282)

Yet another victory for Michigan, making seven in a row, and this one came at the expense of a likely playoff rival. Carlos Beltran was king of the swingers with 38 points, including four doubles, seven ribbies, and four stolen bases. Jason Varitek backed him up with three homers, while Jose Vidro hit safely 10 times. The rotation was impressive, with Rich Harden the only starter not to have a quality start, and both Smoltz and Dotel notched three saves. With their roster in such smooth working order, it's difficult to look past the Wolverines as championship favorites right now. The Kill have their own claim to make, and turned out a solid roster performance, with every hitter in double figures. The pitching was a little shaky by comparison, though, with Freddy Garcia stung for nine runs in 4.1 innings, and Eric Gagne suddenly proving mortal (5 IP, 9 HA, 6 ER, 2 L). But with Russ Ortiz and Mark Redman excelling from the bench, the Rhode Kill have the talent to compete.

MVP: C. Beltran (8-21, HR, 4 2B, 6 R, 7 RBI, 4 BB, 4 SB)

Nudists show off their Johnson, close to clinching

Senators (298) lost at The Naked Truth (332)

Mid-season wobbles haven't deterred the Truth from their chase to retain the Ruth Division pennant (which would be a first for any team in this league), and this week their pitchers carried them through. Randy Johnson's arrival has been a cause for celebration, and he struck out a stunning 28 in 16 innings, while allowing just one run to score. Tim Hudson threw a five-htter, and Wilson Alverez and Jake Peavy were also effective. Hitting was scarce, with Todd Walker, Mike Sweeney, Jeromy Burnitz and Julio Lugo all struggling, but with Cordero's four saves slamming the door emphatically, the Truth had no need of further run support. A respectable week for the Senators was undermined by Mike Mussina's indifferent return from injury, Travis Hafner's 0-12 pace, and Wily Mo Pena's sudden slump. They saw Craig Wilson impress, with nine hits, while Corey Patterson went yard three times, and Armando Benitez chalk up that many saves. If not for Randy Johnson, this game could have been theirs - as it is, they must wait until next week to try and snap their three-game losing streak.

MVP: R. Johnson (16 IP, W, 2 QS, ER, 9 HA, 4 BB, 28 K)

Squeaks' power pulverizes battered Bashers

New York Squeaks (317) won at Junior's Bashers (247)

11 wins from their last 12, now, and the Squeaks show no signs of slowing. They haven't been scoring the volume of points of the Wolverines, but their won-loss record speaks for itself. Scott Rolen let his bat do the talking this week, slamming five out of the park to drive in 12 St. Louis runners, and Albert Pujols enjoyed his company to the tune of 11 hits and 11 RBI. The rotation took a nap, bar decent outings for Mark Buehrle and Jose Contreras, and Brad Lidge's three saves and a win turned out to be pretty useful. But with Bobby Higginson's 47 points sitting on the bench, the Squeaks have options going forward. The Bashers, by contrast, have precious few, with most of their players waiting for the season to end. Paul Quantrill took one for the team, allowing eight runs in just two innings for a -22 score, while Jon Garland left his start early. There were promising signs from Carl Crawford, Sean Casey, and Jose Lima - just a shame that Paul Wilsom never showed up. At least the Bashers are still here, fighting to avoid a last-place finish one year after running away with the division.

MVP: S. Rolen (10-27, 5 HR, 12 RBI, 10 R, 4 BB)

Marauders' bullpen saves the day against licked Linguists

The Marauders (307) won at Cunning Linguists (264)

Rebounding from a disappointing loss last week, the Marauders' relievers helped close out a much-needed win, and keep their team atop the Gehrig Division. All three relievers scored at least 15 points, and between them totalled five saves plus a win and a hold in 12 innings of work, striking out 11. Bartolo Colon and Carl Pavano helped get them there with a win each, and Larry Walker and Raul Ibanez provided the hitting from the outfield, overcoming Roger Clemens' stumble. The Linguists had a poor week from their pen, with only Ugueth Urbina impressing, while Ryan Franklin's complete game wasn't matched by his rotation-mates. Bobby Crosby made the most of his four hits, and Jacque Jones skidded around the outfield, but all for naught, as Termel Sledge (3-19 and Rafael Palmeiro (3-22) scuppered the side.

MVP: B. Colon (8.2 IP, W, QS, 3 ER, 3 HA, 3 BB, 5 K)

Empire hitters run amuck to bulldoze Vanquished pitchers

Valiant Vanquishers (221) lost at Evil Empire (390)

No question about this one, as the Evil Empire let the bats loose against the poor Vanquishers. Shawn Green and Barry Bonds both topped fifty points, with Green ripping 6 long drives, and Bonds collecting 11 hits despite walking ten times. Four other hitters (Helton, Hudson, Felz, and Sheffield) broke the 30-points mark, and only Damian Miller's 3-11 pace slowed the party down. Oh, and Brian Lawrence threw a complete game, negating Brad Penny's absence and Fransisco Rodriguez' struggles. The Vanquishers could do little in response - Kyle Lohse threw a nice game, and Tim Worrell was solid from the bullpen Apart from that, their roster appeared to be stunned into submission, with three of their four best-scoring players (Castillo, Hinske, and Erstad) benched. They'll be very glad to see the back of the Empire for the rest of the year.

MVP: B. Bonds (11-18, 3 HR, 3 2B, 3 B, 10 BB, 10 R)

Swingers hang around for tardy Naughties, then spank them

Saxmania's Swingers (301) won at Newburgh Naughties (239)

The Swingers are belatedly gaining some momemtum after their mid-season swoon, and may be able to buy enough time for some of their injured players to help them out in the postseason. Mark Loretta shouldered responsibility for this win with 39 points, including four doubles, while dual outings for Prior and Hernandez succeeded in racking up points. Cliff Lee got shelled - again - but the rest of the offense bailed him out, with the infield especially productive. The delayed Naughties might have wished that they had taken the week off, as their eventual response to the Swingers' 301 was not impressive. Shawn Estes and Jamie Moyer both slipped under the break-even point, and, although the offense was supplied by Carlos Guillen and Brian Giles, the pitching was led by Jason Marquis' 22 points. That wasn't enough, and the Naughties' next match is looking like a real decider in terms of this year's DiMaggio Division cellar-dweller.

Sluggers rediscover Zito, postseason hopes

The 4 Horsemen (281) lost at Tugger's Sluggers (248)

The real Barry Zito has apparently stood up, as the struggling Oakland ace worked his way through two quality starts while striking out 15 to earn 57 points for the Sluggers, who still have an outside chance of postseason play. Bobby Abreu and Manny Ramirez both impressed with the bat, and Roy Oswalt had himself 7.2 shutout innings, making up for Andy Pettitte's disappearance. The lineup was not without its holes (who the devil is 'R. Quinlan', Mr. Manager?), but Nomar's 9 hits saw the Sluggers home. The Horsemen's solidity in attack (no hitter scored under 28 points) was undone by their shakiness in defence, as Vazquez, Graves, and Duchscherer were all ineffective, and Brazelton's outing was ended too soon. Justin Morneau continues to exert his authority on the lineup, with 36 points. He just needs a rotation of more than Beckett and Olive Perez.

MVP: B. Zito (14.2 IP, W, 2 QS, 2 ER, 8 HA, 4 BB, 15 K)

Gigawatts still in the hunt thanks to Teixiera and Webb

Guys with Wood (207) lost at Doc's 1.21 Gigawatts (298)

Still only a game out from postseason dreams, the Gigawatts rode Teixiera's hot bat as he drove in eleven baserunners, and enjoyed a pair of quality starts from Brandon Webb, as they racked up their 12th win of the year. Webb allowed just one earned run in 13 frames, and Teixiera was backed up by Jim Thome and his six free passes. The rest of the roster was indifferent, but still too good for the Wood. The Guys had stellar starters in Doug Davis and Dyan Drese, as the Texas Twosome threw down 92 points between them. That was all but it, though, with Derrek Lee's 30 points making him the only other player to top 13 all week. Some players (Youkilis, Cuddyer) were on limited duty, while some (Hall, Clark, Batista) just sucked. That's the way it goes sometimes, and the Wood are no longer able to reach the .500 mark this year.

MVP: M. Teixiera (8-24, 3 HR, 3 2B, 11 RBI, 7 R)

Playaz battle their way out of basement; Ice stand and watch

Italian Ice (210) lost at 9 Angry Playaz (262)

Danny Cabrera aside, the Playaz enjoyed this one, with the offense particularly in form. Carlos Delgado's 8 RBI (despite only five hits) was a good place to start, followed by as many for Randy Winn, plus 11 hits for Mets super-prospect David Wright. Cabrera's -26 put a brief damper on things, but Eric Milton and Chris Carpenter were both victorious to pick him up. And with the lineup missing any easy outs, the Playaz won without breaking too much of a sweat. The Ice found that only Ichiro was in the mood for exertion, as he hit safely 14 times and stole three bases. His 44 points led both teams, but was somewhat isolated - fellow countryman Kaz Matsui was out all week, and Chulk got creamed from the bullpen. Johan Santana continues to be a Cy Young-caliber horse, but he missed stablemate Kerry Wood, and the rest of an impressive roster folder from there.

MVP: C. Delgado (5-20, 2 HR, 8 RBI, 4 BB, 7 DPT)

Lous continue late rally; Beltre belts Bombers

Larrupin' Lous (324) won at NY Bombers (291)

Three out of four wins for a defiant team of Lous, now, as they easily disposed of a desperately cursed Bombers side. Beltre continued his breakout campaign with a league-high 56 points for a hitter, going yard six times and hitting safely on 12 occasions. Jeff Weaver chimed in with a pair of quality starts, while Jeff Suppan won both his outings. There were misfires in the bullpen and in the lineup, but the margin for error was already wide enough. The Bombers tried to match Beltre swing for swing, and found three moon shots from Erubiel Durazo, plus four from Corey Koskie. That was not enough, sadly, and Jared Wright's -15 (achieved in just 0.2 innings), plus a 12-point total from the bullpen, kept them too far out of reach for Aaron Rowand or Josh Fogg to make a difference.

MVP: A. Beltre (12-27, 6 HR, 3 2B, 8 RBI, 10 R)

Team of the Week: Evil Empire (390 points)
Lucky Team of the Week: 9 Angry Playaz (won with 262 points)
Unlucky Team of the Week: Senators (lost with 298 points)
Matchup of the Week: Senators vs. The Naked Truth (34 points' difference in the result)

Starter of the Week: Randy Johnson (75 points)
Hitter of the Week: Adrian Beltre (56 points)
Reliever of the Week: Francisco Cordero (31 points)

Standings

                  		Ruth Division					
                  		Won	Lost	W/L %	G/B	Average	St. Dev.
The Naked Truth			13	7	0.650	-	283.60	64.28
Tugger's Sluggers		11	9	0.550	2	281.90	68.00
Guys with Wood			8	12	0.400	5	272.10	53.71
Cunning Linguists		8	12	0.400	5	250.75	49.34
NY Bombers			7	13	0.350	6	281.60	50.62

                  		Gehrig Division					
                  		Won	Lost	W/L %	G/B	Average	St. Dev.
The Marauders			13	7	0.650	-	293.45	57.76
Doc's 1.21 Gigawatts		12	8	0.600	1	277.40	51.50
Senators			10	10	0.500	3	282.60	46.74
The 4 Horsemen			10	10	0.500	3	276.20	54.08
Larrupin' Lous			8	12	0.400	5	272.25	56.70

                  		DiMaggio Division					
                  		Won	Lost	W/L %	G/B	Average	St. Dev.
Michigan Wolverines		14	6	0.700	-	308.50	60.48
Evil Empire			13	7	0.650	1	293.65	50.04
Italian Ice			10	10	0.500	4	270.25	48.27
Junior's Bashers		5	15	0.250	9	253.50	53.43
Newburgh Naughties		4	16	0.200	10	265.10	43.53
							
                  		Mantle Division					
                  		Won	Lost	W/L %	G/B	Average	St. Dev.
New York Squeaks		16	4	0.800	-	289.65	68.07
Rhode Kill			13	7	0.650	3	304.30	38.82
Saxmania's Swingers		11	9	0.550	5	303.95	47.21
9 Angry Playaz			7	13	0.350	9	267.35	47.65
Valiant Vanquishers		7	13	0.350	9	262.10	50.26

                  		Wild Card (Won/Loss)					
                  		Won	Lost	W/L %	G/B	Average	St. Dev.
Rhode Kill			13	7	0.650	-	304.30	38.82
Evil Empire			13	7	0.650	-	293.65	50.04
Doc's 1.21 Gigawatts		12	8	0.600	1	277.40	51.50
Saxmania's Swingers		11	9	0.550	2	303.95	47.21
Tugger's Sluggers		11	9	0.550	2	281.90	68.00

                  		Wild Card (Points Average)					
                  		Won	Lost	W/L %	P/B	Average	St. Dev.
Rhode Kill			13	7	0.650	-	304.30	38.82
Saxmania's Swingers		11	9	0.550	-0.35	303.95	47.21
Evil Empire			13	7	0.650	-10.65	293.65	50.04

Power Rankings

Rank	Team 			Record 	Points 	Brkdn 	Power
1 	Michigan Wolverines 	19 	20 	20 	59 
2 	Rhode Kill 		16.5 	19 	18 	53.5 
3 	New York Squeaks 	20 	15 	15 	50 
4 	The Marauders 		16.5 	16 	17 	49.5 
4 	Saxmania's Swingers 	12.5 	18 	19 	49.5 
4 	Evil Empire 		16.5 	17 	16 	49.5 
7 	The Naked Truth 	16.5 	12 	14 	42.5 
8 	Tugger's Sluggers 	12.5 	13 	11 	36.5 
9 	Doc's 1.21 Gigawatts 	14 	10 	10	34 
9 	Senators 		10 	11 	13 	34 
11 	NY Bombers 		4 	14 	12 	30 
12 	The 4 Horsemen 		10 	9 	6 	25 
13 	Italian Ice 		10 	6 	8 	24 
13 	Larrupin' Lou's 	7 	8 	9 	24 
15 	Guys with Wood 		7 	7 	7 	21 
16 	9 Angry Playaz 		4 	5 	5 	14 
17 	Valiant Vanquishers 	4 	3 	3 	10 
17 	Cunning Linguists 	7 	1 	2 	10 
19 	Newburgh Naughties 	1 	4 	4 	9 
20 	Junior's Bashers 	2 	2 	1 	5 

Player Rankings

Rank	Hitter		Points	Rank	Starter		Points	Rank	Reliever	Points
1	A. Pujols	660	1	R. Johnson	663	1	E. Gagne	363	
2	T. Helton	617	2	J. Schmidt	634	2	M. Rivera	359
3	B. Bonds	601	3	J. Santana	570	3	B. Lidge	356
4	J. Thome	565	4	B. Sheets	565	4	A. Benitez	334
5	B. Abreu	559	5	L. Hernandez	525	5	F. Cordero	329
6	M. Tejada	555	6	C. Schilling	520	6	J. Smoltz	326
7	S. Rolen	546	7	R. Oswalt	500	7	J. Nathan	324
8	C. Guillen	542	8	P. Martinez	489	8	J. Isringhausen	308
9	M. Loretta	531	9	M. Mulder	487	9	T. Gordon	300
10	D. Lee		523	10	R. Clemens	480	10	Fr. Rodriguez	298

Be seeing you,

Saxmania

[patrick.o]

Originally posted by Saxmania
Nudists show off their Johnson, close to clinching

Classic!

Nice work as always, Mr Mania

[bakntime]

Originally posted by Saxmania
Nudists show off their Johnson, close to clinching

Thanks as always, Sax. We love you.

[#1PaFan]

"Scuppered." (????)

scup·per2 ( P ) Pronunciation Key (skpr)
tr.v. scup·pered, scup·per·ing, scup·pers
Chiefly British. To overwhelm or massacre.
To ruin or destroy: “The world oil glut combined with disastrous federal energy policies to scupper Alberta's economy” (Christian Science Monitor).


I'd hardly call it a massacre, Englander! Start speaking English. American English, too! Stop using obscure British terms, JazzBoy! Beeeeeeotch!!!

[Saxmania]

Actually, to 'scupper' frequently refers to sinking a ship, usually while on board. It's what cowardly captains would do to avoid being boarded by the enemy - scupper their own ship and swim for it. I wonder why I chose that particular word?

Be seeing you,

Saxmania

[Big_E]

Originally posted by Saxmania
Actually, to 'scupper' frequently refers to sinking a ship, usually while on board. It's what cowardly captains would do to avoid being boarded by the enemy - scupper their own ship and swim for it. I wonder why I chose that particular word?

Be seeing you,

Saxmania

Ahhh...on this side of the Atlantic that's "scuttle" (See "Hunt for Red October").

[Saxmania]

That makes some sense. Heh. 'Scuttle' is a fun word to say. Considering how I go out of my way to spell words like "favourite" and "pulverise" your way, I think you could relax a little, George.

Basement-inhabiting biatch.

Be seeing you,

Saxmania

[patrick.o]

Originally posted by Saxmania

Basement-inhabiting biatch.

Ouch!

You know, there's a resturant in West Haven called the Rusty Scupper. I wonder what they think a scupper is

[#1PaFan]

Originally posted by Saxmania
Basement-inhabiting biatch.

Now THAT is more like it!!!

[miko]

Originally posted by Big_E


Ahhh...on this side of the Atlantic that's "scuttle" (See "Hunt for Red October").

So what would the term "scuttle-butt" mean then?

[Big_E]

Originally posted by miko
So what would the term "scuttle-butt" mean then?

Going down on someone's ass, of course.

[miko]

Originally posted by Big_E


Going down on someone's ass, of course.

So would that make you the "scuttle butt Champjon" then?

[Coney36]

And I only have two guys from those 30 top players too...