Duke of the DUMMIES...

[Ansky39]

In letter, they're Rosy Sox
By Bob Ryan, Globe Staff, Globe Columnist, 12/8/2000
Dan Duquette avoids contact with the media as much as possible, and he is notorious throughout baseball for his aloof methodology, which includes a consistent refusal to return phone calls. Doing business with the Red Sox, we are told, is not unlike dealing with the North Koreans.
But there are ways for folks to find out what the oft-inscrutable executive vice president and general manager is thinking, at least publicly. One of those is to own a season ticket or two, or four. Then you get a cheery four-page letter from The Smartest Kid In The Class to accompany your bill.
(If only the company would allow me to put the cost of gathering this valuable insight on my expense report.)
So what do we learn, other than that the GM is solicitous of our general welfare? (''I hope this letter finds you and your family well.'')


We learn that the Red Sox had a terrific year in 2000, ''finishing only 2.5 games behind the World Series Champions with an 85-77 record.'' Oh, really? Just how far advanced on the gullibility scale would one have to be to buy that one at face value? Does The Smartest Kid In The Class expect people - especially the sort of people willing to invest serious money in season tickets - to forget that the AL East race was over after the Yankees swept the Red Sox in a three-game series Sept. 8-10 and that the only reason the Red Sox finished as close as they did was that the Yankees lost about 55 in a row in those last couple of weeks?


We also learn that the pitching staff was ''the best in the league for the second consecutive year with a 4.23 ERA.'' Hello? Did he say ''pitching staff''?
There is no ''pitching staff.'' There is Pedro and there are some relievers, including a pretty good closer, but to imply that what happens the other four days when Pedro Martinez isn't pitching gives his team the right to say it is a ''pitching staff'' is fraudulent. This was a ''pitching staff'' whose alleged No. 2 man logged the fewest innings per start of anyone taking even a semi-regular turn in both leagues. Pedro had an ERA of 1.74, a figure one could properly label as ''microscopic,'' especially in light of the great offensive explosion elsewhere in baseball, an eruption one is seldom aware of when Pedro takes the mound. Pedro is the pitching staff.
We learn that the minor league system is in great shape. (''The organization's scouting, minor league and player development systems continue to progress and thrive.'') Baseball America, the unquestioned modern bible of the sport, isn't quite so sure. While acknowledging the strides made in this area at the outset of the Duquette regime, the paper feels there are real problems in the Red Sox system right now. The downturn began when The Smartest Kid In The Class ran the well-respected Bob Schaefer out of the organization following the 1998 season. The Red Sox are regarded as contentious negotiators, meaning they don't always sign their draftees. Worst of all, Duquette has taken to trading prospects for major league veterans of dubious value, resulting in a situation, the paper feels, ''where many of his transactions have been shortsighted and have bloated the payroll.''


The No. 1 prospect is Dernell Stenson, and stop me if you have heard this before: (Reasonably) Good Bat, No Position. Again, from Baseball America: ''If he doesn't mash in the big leagues, he won't play because he contributes nothing beyond his bat.'' Yes, there are some promising pups (file away the name of Tony Blanco, a 19-year-old Dominican third baseman with the proverbial cannon dangling from his right shoulder), but the best prospects are a long way from being ready. All in all, says Baseball America, ''the cracks are starting to show in the foundation.''


We learn that it was essential to raise ticket prices ''in order to remain competitive with economic responsibility.'' Who can argue with that? But The Smartest Kid In The Class has to show us how benevolent he and the organization are by devoting two paragraphs to a ''discount'' policy. He and the others have just raised the ticket prices dramatically. It is the biggest incremental hike from one year to the next in franchise history, and surely one of the biggest such increases in American sport history.


If some of the new fan dollars indeed go toward paying Manny Ramirez $122.5 million over the next seven years, fine. But please do not insult anyone's intelligence by rhapsodizing about ''discounts.'' The new ''discount'' prices are substantially higher than the regular prices were last season. That's all there is to it. So stop trying to make people think they'll somehow be getting a bargain, Manny or no Manny.


We learn that the new ballpark is practically ready to open. ''We've made excellent progress towards our goal of building a new ballpark for our fans,'' says the Duke. He must think none of his patrons reads the papers. The truth is that the proposal is under enormous scrutiny, that the City Council isn't buying it, and that more and more people (myself included) are starting to believe that the Fenway site is unwise on many levels. The new ballpark situation is a mess, period.


Carl Everett's name is mentioned once. The wily GM is hoping you forget about our resident Vesuvius. And guess who isn't mentioned once, in any of the more than 2,000 words, covering four full pages.
Jimy Williams.


We do learn, ominously, that ''we added two very respected and experienced baseball men to our coaching staff, third base coach Gene Lamont, who has eight years of ML managerial experience, and hitting coach Rick Down.''
But if you read this missive, the team operates by remote control.


So the most interesting thing we learn from reading the Duke's letter is that Jimy Williams might as well start having his mail forwarded to Dunedin, Fla., as soon as the season starts.


Who says The Smartest Kid In The Class can't communicate?
Bob Ryan is a Globe columnist. His e-mail address is ryan@globe.com.


This story ran on page C3 of the Boston Globe on 12/8/2000.
© Copyright 2000 Globe Newspaper Company.

http://www.boston.com/dailyglobe2/34...osy_Sox+.shtml

looks like a case of the blind leading the blind...

[Chris]

I am so glad I wasn't raised a sox fan.

[harley]

me too Chris!!!

[artemis]

Amen!

[seahorse]

How sad.