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  1. #1
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    Sep 2001

    Funniest Baseball Column of the Week

    It's Jayson Stark's, on espn.com:

    "Spring Fever: Odds, ends and inexplicables"


    I'll just post a couple of excerpts ...

    [Livan] Hernandez ... on [giving up a] homer [to Seattle pitcher Paul] Abbott, who swung away despite being an AL pitcher coming to bat with runners on first and third in the second inning of a spring-training game:

    "I thought he was going to bunt. That was a good bunt."

    Abbott, meanwhile, admitted that with manager Lou Piniella back at the Mariners' spring complex and coach John McLaren in charge, he had to lobby hard to hack away.

    "He wanted me to bunt," Abbott told the Seattle Times' Bob Finnigan. "I said, 'Come on. It's spring training. Lou's not here.'"
    On March 12, Reds pitcher Lance Davis went to the mound to start a game against the Phillies. By the time he'd gotten his first out, he'd already given up four home runs.

    No one has ever done that in a regular-season game. But Davis' day went: Jimmy Rollins homer, Doug Glanville homer, four-pitch walk to Bobby Abreu, Pat Burrell homer, Travis Lee homer.

    "I feel," Davis said afterward, "like I just fell out of a dumpster."

    Which is not to be confused with saying he felt like Ryan Dempster.

    Of the four homers, the two scariest were Glanville's -- a line drive that disappeared in about three-fourths of a second -- and Burrell's, which went over the fence, over a street and landed in the back yard of a house on the other side of the block.

    "The home run I hit apparently hit a lady walking on the other side of the fence," Glanville told Spring Fever. "They brought me the ball to sign for her, and I signed it, 'Watch out for big snowflakes.'"

    Burrell's homer was judged by several observers to be the longest they'd ever seen at Jack Russell Stadium in Clearwater. Glanville speculated it went so far, "it was caught by Sharbat Gula, the newly found Afghan Girl from National Geographic." But that report, he conceded, was "not confirmed."
    There's lots more ... Enjoy!

  2. #2
    That was great.

  3. #3

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