PDA

View Full Version : Favorite Seinfeld clips and lines



4bronxbombers
02-11-08, 12:29 PM
Steve reminded me of the Junior Mint scene today. :lol: Post your favs.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uqnf7sLkmqs

RhodyYanksFan
02-11-08, 12:31 PM
Oh man...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hp1tohmTx40
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tgl1kskoq98

xenadanielle
02-11-08, 12:33 PM
I can't access any video sites from here but I always come back to the Face Painter/"I'M THE DEVIL!!!/"Gotta support the team.." :lol:

CoyoteYankee
02-11-08, 12:33 PM
:lol:

Ironically enough my favorite comes from the same episode! The whole Mulva situation.

4bronxbombers
02-11-08, 12:34 PM
Oh man...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hp1tohmTx40
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tgl1kskoq98

Liar George. :lol:

Hitman23
02-11-08, 12:37 PM
Hard to find a favorite. I associate a Seinfeld line or scenario at least once a day. You can find something in almost any circumstance.

I think "I don't wanna be a pirate" is a top candidate to be my favorite line.

SheffRocks11
02-11-08, 12:49 PM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5xi4O1yi6b0
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OXJi7Vd0FPw

yankswn23
02-11-08, 01:10 PM
Kramer's at a fantasy camp..his life is a fantasy camp, people should pluck down 2000 dollars to live like him for a week, no job fall bass ackwards into money and have sex without dating..now thats a fantasy camp..

"The Straw"
02-11-08, 01:15 PM
"Maybe the Dingo ate your Baby" :D
"Oh no! the answer is Moops" :D
"The sea was angry that day my friends, like an old man trying to
return soup at a deli!" :D
"Serenity now!":D
"What the hell did you trade Jay Buhner for?!? He had
30 home runs, over 100 RBIs last year, he's got a rocket for an arm, you

don't know what the hell you're doin'!!"


George's answering machine

yankswn23
02-11-08, 01:18 PM
Did you know that the original title for War and Peace was War, What Is It Good For?"
- Jerry in The Marine Biologist

xenadanielle
02-11-08, 01:26 PM
"Oh no! the answer is Moops" :D


George's answering machine

Yes, the Moops!

"Believe it or not, George isn't at home..." :lol:

b-ball-lunachick
02-11-08, 01:33 PM
One of my favorite lines ever was when Kramer had the Mike Douglas set and George wanted him to have the squirrel on and Kramer said something like "two animal acts in one show? what do you think this is - amateur hour?"

the look on Kramer's face was priceless. :D

I love that episode!

b-ball-lunachick
02-11-08, 01:35 PM
Yes, the Moops!

"Believe it or not, George isn't at home..." :lol:

Believe it or not,
George isn't at home,
Please leave a message at the beep.
I must be out, or I'd pick up the phone,
Where could I be?
Believe it or not, I'm not home.

:lol: that was great! :D

montrealer
02-11-08, 01:37 PM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8d-VAqAkAeg

b-ball-lunachick
02-11-08, 01:40 PM
Hard to find a favorite. I associate a Seinfeld line or scenario at least once a day. You can find something in almost any circumstance.

I think "I don't wanna be a pirate" is a top candidate to be my favorite line.

I may not do every day but once a week for sure. :D

I think the one I use most is "not that there's anything wrong with that" :D

What I find weird is, I remember a ton of different quotes and scenes, but if I go look it up, I'm usually surprised it was in that episode..I don't seem to remember which plots go together if that makes sense...do you know what I mean?

Trish
02-11-08, 01:52 PM
At least once a day, I make a reference. It's become such a part of my and my husband's way of relating:lol:

Especially, "I don't know how you guys walk around with those things."

Hitman23
02-11-08, 01:58 PM
I may not do every day but once a week for sure. :D

I think the one I use most is "not that there's anything wrong with that" :D

What I find weird is, I remember a ton of different quotes and scenes, but if I go look it up, I'm usually surprised it was in that episode..I don't seem to remember which plots go together if that makes sense...do you know what I mean?That's part of what made the show so great. They were able to tie in story lines that made no sense whasoever by the end of the show. Yes, happens to me constantly. I don't always remember what story goes with what show but the quotable lines are just endless.

pjfan
02-11-08, 02:06 PM
Anything with Puddy takes the cake.

I can't watch any of the vids posted, so if this is a repeat, my apologies.

But, the episode where Kramer is installing a garbage disposal in his shower is one of my faves. The conversation he has with Puddy about how to install it is classic. How Puddy just calmly corrects him, then says, "it must be a misprint."

Here's the actual scene

Kramer: "Um, listen, you're a mechanic. Could you help me install a garbage
disposal?"
Puddy: "Well, it's a big job. You've got to dismantle the latch hasp from the
auxiliary drainage line."
Kramer: "No. It says 'main line'."
Puddy: "It's a misprint. What do you got, a Clarkman?"
Kramer: "Yeah."

taken from www.seinfeldscripts.com (http://www.seinfeldscripts.com)

Hitman23
02-11-08, 02:11 PM
Anything with Puddy takes the cake.hehe "you're a grease monkey"

JavyVazquezIsSick
02-11-08, 02:22 PM
"The sea was angry that day my friends, like an old man trying to return soup at a deli!" :D


:lol:

yankswn23
02-11-08, 02:30 PM
Kramer (very excited): Hey!
George: Hey.
Kramer (still excited): Who wants to have some fun?!
Jerry: I do!
George: I do!
Kramer (even more excited): Are you just sayin' you wanna have fun, or do you really wanna have fun?!
Jerry: I really wanna have fun!
George: I'm just sayin' I wanna have fun.
Kramer (increasingly more excited): Right now, there are 600 Titleists that I got at the driving range in the trunk of my car. Why don't we drive out to Rockaway and hit 'em...into the ocean? Now, picture this...we find a nice sweet spot between the dunes, we take out our drivers, we tee up, and...
(Kramer mimes swinging a golf club.)
Kramer (more excited than ever): That ball goes sailin' into the sky, holds there for a moment, and then...
(With a spread of the arms and a huge enthusiastic grin, Kramer imitates the sound of a golf ball hitting the water.)
George (to Jerry, unimpressed): C'mon, ya wanna go get some lunch?
George: yeah Im gonna grab a paper..

yankswn23
02-11-08, 02:32 PM
George: The sea was angry that day, my friends - like an old man trying to send back soup in a deli. I got about fifty feet out and suddenly the great beast appeared before me. I tell you he was ten stories high if he was afoot. As if sensing my presence, he let out a great bellow. I said, "Easy, big fella!" And then, as I watched him struggling, I realized that something was obstructing its breathing. From where I was standing, I could see directly into the eye of the great fish.
Jerry: Mammal
George: Whatever
Kramer: Well what did you do next?
George: Well then, from out of nowhere, a huge tidal wave lifted me, tossed me like a cork, and I found myself right on top of him - face to face with the blow hole! I could barely see from the waves crashing down upon me but I knew something was there. So I reached my hand in, felt around, and pulled out the obstruction. (Shows Kramer's golf ball, while Jerry's jaw opens in astonishment)
Kramer: (In disbelief) Is that a Titleist? (George nods.)
Kramer: A hole in one, huh?

JeterForPresident
02-11-08, 02:45 PM
There is not a day that goes by that I don't make some kind of Seinfeld reference in my conversations.

I have seen them all and I have so many favorite quotes, and most of them already mentioned above, but a couple I love that haven't been pointed out are:

Kramer when he is hosting his own "Merv Griffin Show", when he welcomes in George, the music comes on the tape recorder and he says "Well, it's our good friend...GEORGE COSTANZA" it is just hilarious everytime I see it.

Any time Lloyd Bridges came on as Mendlebaum or Sandy Baron as Jack Klompus is chock full of good lines such as "It's go time" or "take the pen".

and I could go on for hours but I'll end with this one:

Frank Costanza leaving a message on Jerry's answering machine:
"It's Frank Costanza, Mr. Steinbrenner's here, George is dead, call me back."

yankswn23
02-11-08, 02:49 PM
The one with the lip reader is classic..

He said "Why don't you stick around and we can sleep together.."
She said " together"
He said "Well I don't want to sleep alone"
She said ..uh oh.. "love too"

George yelling at woman " So now the two of you are gonna sleep together"
Woman "what are you talking about"
George " I can read lips..and you said you were gonna sleep together"
woman " What I said sweep together.."

pjfan
02-11-08, 04:00 PM
Kramer when he is hosting his own "Merv Griffin Show", when he welcomes in George, the music comes on the tape recorder and he says "Well, it's our good friend...GEORGE COSTANZA" it is just hilarious everytime I see it.

Frank Costanza leaving a message on Jerry's answering machine:
"It's Frank Costanza, Mr. Steinbrenner's here, George is dead, call me back."

2 absolute classics. Well done.

Along with the Merv Griffin show.......after playing the recorded music, you can here Kramer saying, "Turn music off" Gets me every time.

yankswn23
02-11-08, 04:13 PM
Cushman: I gotta tell you, you are the complete opposite of every applicant we've seen. Mr. *Steinbrenner, sir. There's someone here I'd like you to meet. This is Mr. Costanza. He is one of the applicants.


George Steinbrenner: Nice to meet you.



George Costanza: Well, I wish I could say the same, but I must say, with all due respect, I find it very hard to see the logic behind some of the moves you have made with this fine organization. In the past twenty years, you have caused myself, and the city of New York, a good deal of distress as we have watched you take our beloved Yankees and reduced them to a laughing stock, all for the glorification of your massive ego.

George Steinbrenner: Hire this man!

Hitman23
02-11-08, 04:30 PM
hehehe.... Steinbrenner was always a good character on the show.

"Costanza is in the building!!!"

b-ball-lunachick
02-11-08, 04:50 PM
Mr. . Steinbrenner : Eggplant . Yes . That's a hell of a thing . Okay let's
get back to business . Okay here you go . Very good , very good . Excellent .
excellent calzone you got there Costanza . Okay a little jealous now . Okay
lets go . Ok last week ....... You know that eggplant was very good .
Everybody out . I got eggplant on my mind . Costanza get me couple of those
calzones right now . Pronto . Move out . Big Stein wants an eggplant calzone.
Must have one . Everybody out . Out .

:lol:

b-ball-lunachick
02-11-08, 05:07 PM
I liked the Frogger one - best line was from Peterman:

Poor old Walt has a polyp in the duodenum. It's benign, but--ooh--still a bastard

26 and counting
02-11-08, 06:37 PM
"I choose NOT to run!" - Jerry

"Oh yeah? Well, the jerk store called, and they're running out of you!" - George

"Hello, Jerry." - Newman

"Do you think you're sponge-worthy?" - Elaine

"Hoochie-mama!" - Kramer

CallOfTheCrow
02-11-08, 08:26 PM
When Kramer was in court with Newman contesting a speeding ticket Newman received & during Kramer getting questioned he yells "Yoyo ma!"

Or earlier in that episode when he answers Jerry's phone & starts speaking French.


I could go on & on, really.

Yankee Mike
02-11-08, 10:37 PM
When George hired a secretary and he found her so irrisistable b/c she was so neat and organized... and they went at it behind his desk and he screamed...

I'M GIVING YOU A RAIIIISE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Seth
02-11-08, 10:46 PM
Kramer having the Merv Griffin set in his appartment and conducting a talk show.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=Mxhs-O_9BLc

26 and counting
02-11-08, 10:47 PM
Schmoopie!!!!!

#1PaFan
02-11-08, 10:59 PM
EVERY single one posted here is an effing Classic!!! :lol: :lol:

My favorite is still the Marine Biologist quotes. :gulp:

26 and counting
02-11-08, 11:01 PM
This show will still be talked about 500 years from now. Just like we talk about Shakespeare, people will still be talking about Seinfeld in the year 2500.

26 and counting
02-11-08, 11:02 PM
Anyone got any good J Peterman quotes? I loved that guy!

Sam18
02-11-08, 11:08 PM
The scene where Jerry and George get mistaken for a gay couple by the NYU student. I've never laughed so hard at a tv show.

JeterForPresident
02-11-08, 11:16 PM
The scene where Jerry and George get mistaken for a gay couple by the NYU student. I've never laughed so hard at a tv show.

Besides "not that there's anything wrong with that" are also another few great parts from that episode. When George tries to get the student to have sex with him to prove he isn't gay, he is like screaming, pulling his shirt off, "Let's go baby". Then at the end when he tries to convince his girlfriend he is actually gay to get out of the relationship. Truly classic episode.

Also one I forgot, not great out of context but in "The Contest", after seeing the naked woman across the street Kramer walks out of Jerry's and returns just a minute or so later, slams his money down on the kitchen counter and says "I'm out".

And also Jerry's dirty talk about "the panties your mother laid out for you" coming back to haunt him at the end as Elaine walks out of his apartment saying she is going to visit her mother who has some new panties laid out for her.

Sam18
02-11-08, 11:23 PM
Besides "not that there's anything wrong with that" are also another few great parts from that episode. When George tries to get the student to have sex with him to prove he isn't gay, he is like screaming, pulling his shirt off, "Let's go baby". Then at the end when he tries to convince his girlfriend he is actually gay to get out of the relationship. Truly classic episode.
.

"My father's gay!"

:roflmao:

Tyler Durden
02-11-08, 11:33 PM
Classic...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v3CFmnfq6E


Jerry: You're crazy.

Kramer: Am I? Or am I so sane, that you just blew your mind?!



:-rofl-: Get's me every time

CallOfTheCrow
02-11-08, 11:36 PM
When Jerry had to tell the kid how wrong swearing is then sees the kid messing with his cassette tape:

"WHAT THE F*CK ARE YOU DOING YOU LITTLE PIECE OF SH*T!?!?"



That cracked me up.

Kangamangus
02-11-08, 11:47 PM
One of my favorites was this FRank Costanza one, I believe in the Festivus episode.

"Kruger! You couldn't smooth a silk sheet if you had a hot date with a babe.... I lost my train of thought."

CallOfTheCrow
02-12-08, 12:28 AM
"The rooster has sex with all of them"


Frank: "Thats perverse!"

Luvtino
02-12-08, 02:01 AM
These are just a few that come to mind. So many classic lines. Fantastic show. :I still laugh just thinking of these. :lol:

"Mulva?!"

"I'm out."

Something like, "It's Junior Mints. Who would say no?!"

"Hello Newman."

"Not that there's anything wrong with that."

"It was cold." (Shrinkage episdode)

The episode where Jerry wanted to play with his girlfriend's toy collection so they gave her wine in a box and turkey was another funny one.

Trish
02-12-08, 06:20 AM
Jerry: "Your face...it looks like an old catcher's mitt."

Kramer: "Look away....I'm hideous."

I die laughing.

Elaine dancing: "It's like dry heaves set to music"

PalmerGA
02-12-08, 07:05 AM
The "Mulva" show was one of the best. (Hest? Kest? Gipple? :lol:) "DELORIS!!!" :lol:

Of course, "The Bet" was great. And "Shrinkage! Shrinkage!"

And I love the scene when Newman is interrogating Jerry over possible mail-insurance fraud on his stereo. Newman has the bright light shining in his own face and is sweating like a pig, while Jerry's cool and comfy sipping on a soda. :lol:

What a terrific show. I have all the DVDs.

pjfan
02-12-08, 09:53 AM
From the Blood episode, when Kramer gets the babysitting gig over Elaine.

Elaine: I'm way more responsible then you.

Kramer: Don't be ridiculous. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to fill my freezer with my own blood.

gdn
02-12-08, 09:55 AM
Oh man...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hp1tohmTx40
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tgl1kskoq98"Independent George" is hilarious :lol:

yankswn23
02-12-08, 10:01 AM
Okay the best Dialog has to be in the episode where Toby heckles Jerry and then he goes to her office and heckles her and then she runs out in the street and gets her toe severed and kramer saves the day.. This is also the episode where george knocks over women and children to escape a small fire at a kids birthday party..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rkpvON6IpNs

tdel23
02-12-08, 11:07 AM
"these pretzels are making me thirsty"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DRaLpHoZA8E

b-ball-lunachick
02-12-08, 11:14 AM
Anyone got any good J Peterman quotes? I loved that guy!

I had this one that I posted on the first page:



Poor old Walt has a polyp in the du-odenum. It's benign, but--ooh--still a bastard

That was in the "Get well, Get Well soon, we want you to get well" one where Elaine was tired of all the office parties. :D

that show was awesome...

RhodyYanksFan
02-12-08, 11:19 AM
I had this one that I posted on the first page:



That was in the "Get well, Get Well soon, we want you to get well" one where Elaine was tired of all the office parties. :D

that show was awesome...

The Bosco episode was great classic Peterman.

Bern baby Bern!
02-12-08, 11:48 AM
Jerry - The answering machine is like a relationship barometer.
George - What IS a barometer?
Kramer - It's pronounced thermometer.


Plus when Jerry picks up the phone and its a telemarketer and he says i cant talk right now, why dont u give me your home number and Ill call you later. And the guy answers we cant do that. Jerry says, why you dont want people calling you in your house?? Well, now you know how i feel..

also, best scene is when Jerry made reservations for a car and hes explaining to the girl how anyone can take a reservation, its the hold thats the most important part.

PalmerGA
02-12-08, 11:51 AM
...also, best scene is when Jerry made reservations for a car and hes explaining to the girl how anyone can take a reservation, its the hold thats the most important part.Yeah... and "Yeah, you better give me the insurance because I am going to beat the hell out of this car." :lol:

Hitman23
02-12-08, 11:53 AM
Yeah... and "Yeah, you better give me the insurance because I am going to beat the hell out of this car." :lol:"Let me speak with my supervisor"

:lol: that is a great episode

NewEraYanks2527
02-12-08, 11:56 AM
Holy Cow!!

4bronxbombers
02-12-08, 12:09 PM
I couldn't find the youtube of George eating out of the garbage can and getting caught. That was lol funny. :lol:

NewEraYanks2527
02-12-08, 12:58 PM
Boss: We're going to have to let you go.
Kramer: I don't really work here.
Boss: I know, thats what makes this so difficult.

26 and counting
02-12-08, 01:06 PM
Two of my favorite Kramer quotes:

"They don't have a decent piece of fruit at the supermarket. The apples are mealy, the oranges are dry... I don't know what's going on with the papayas!"

"I need the secure packaging of Jockeys. My boys need a house!"

26 and counting
02-12-08, 01:10 PM
[At Yankees batting practice]
George Costanza: Guys, hitting is not about muscle. It's simple physics. Calculate the velocity, v, in relation to the trajectory, t, in which g, gravity, of course remains a constant.
[Hits a home run]
George Costanza: It's not complicated.
Derek Jeter: Now, who are you again?
George Costanza: George Costanza, assistant to the traveling secretary.
Bernie Williams: Are you the guy who put us in that Ramada in Milwaukee?
George Costanza: Do you wanna talk about hotels, or do you wanna win some ball games?
Derek Jeter: We won the World Series.
George Costanza: In six games.

b-ball-lunachick
02-12-08, 01:13 PM
I couldn't find the youtube of George eating out of the garbage can and getting caught. That was lol funny. :lol:

:lol: don't forget the double dip with the chips! :D I still think of that bit every time I'm eating veggies/dip or chips/dip at a party...

4bronxbombers
02-12-08, 01:16 PM
:lol: don't forget the double dip with the chips! :D I still think of that bit every time I'm eating veggies/dip or chips/dip at a party...

Last year one of my kids took a few bites of a sandwich and then put it in the garbage and the husband took it out and ate it. We had friends over.....we were dying......:everyone called him George that night. :lol:

26 and counting
02-12-08, 01:35 PM
ELAINE: Oh, what didn't you like about the first chapter?

PETERMAN: Well, it started out nicely: "I'm returning some pants." A very identifiable problem... "I set off down a train tunnel."... But that's
where the story takes a most unappealing turn.

ELAINE: Oh, no, no! That's where it gets interesting! Don't you see? The - the train is bearing down on you, you - you dive into a side tunnel - and you run into a whole band of underground tunnel dwellers!

PETERMAN: It just seems so cliched, and obvious. It's not interesting writing.

ELAINE: Yeah... yeah. I know. Um... how about if, instead of... diving from the train, you... uh, you, I don't know, you slip and, and fall in some mud, and... ruin your pants?

PETERMAN: (Intrigued) The very pants I was returning. That's perfect irony! Elaine, that is interesting writing!

NYYFAN
02-12-08, 01:48 PM
Speaking of Seinfeld, I had a patient with a Constanza wallet. It was funny as hell...and huge! :lol:

tdel23
02-12-08, 02:01 PM
The Bubble Boy episode was a classic as well.

Sam18
02-12-08, 03:31 PM
"Well I slept with your wife!!"

PalmerGA
02-12-08, 03:34 PM
"It's a Festivus, for the rest of us!"

JeterForPresident
02-12-08, 03:34 PM
"Well I slept with your wife!!"

"His wife is in a coma"

"Yea well the life support machine called and...."

PalmerGA
02-12-08, 03:35 PM
So - was it a "Bro" or a "Manziere"?

houstonnewyawka
02-12-08, 04:08 PM
Hello... Welcome to movie phone...
You have selected Agent Zero. If this is correct please press one now...
You have selected Brown Eyed Girl. If this is correct please press one now...
<pause> Why don't you just tell me the movie you have selected?

CallOfTheCrow
02-12-08, 07:10 PM
"i was in the pool!!!"

PalmerGA
02-13-08, 07:00 AM
Why don't you just tell me the movie you have selected?I love that scene.

NewEraYanks2527
02-13-08, 08:50 AM
The summer of George!

RhodeyYankee2638
02-13-08, 09:03 AM
Favorite Seinfeld moment

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TfHqv8YAA9w

mentalgidget
02-13-08, 09:38 AM
My favorite clip of all time.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_zePQavforA

Bookman: Yeah, 1971, that was my first year on the job. Bad year for libraries. Bad year for America... Hippies burning library cards. Abbey Hoffman telling everybody to steal books. I don't judge a man by the length of his hair or the kind of music he listens to, rock was never my bag. But you put on a pair of shoes when you walk into the New York Public Library, fella.

Jerry: Look, Mr. Bookman, i returned that book, i remember it very specifically.

Bookman: You're a comedian, you make people laugh...

Jerry: I try

Bookman: You think this is all a big joke, don't ya

Jerry: No, i don't

Bookman: I saw you on TV once, I remembered your name from my list. I looked it up. Sure enough it cecked out. You think because you're a celebrity that somehow the law doesn't apply to you, that you're above the law?

Jerry: certainly not

Bookman: Well let me tell you something funny boy. You know that little stamp? the one that says New York Public Library? Well, that may not mean anything to you but it menas a lot to me, one whole hell of a lot. Sure, go ahead, laugh if you want to. I've seen your type before; flashy, making the scene, flaunting convention.
Yeah, i know what you're thinking 'what's this guy making a big stink about old library books?' Let me give you a hint, junior. Maybe we can live without libraries, people like you and me, maybe... sure, we're too old to change the world. But what about that kid, sitting down, opening a book right now at a branch at the local library and finding drawings of pee pees and wee wees in the Cat in the Hat and the Five Chinese Brothers? Doesn't he deserve better?
Look, if you think this is about overdue fines and missing books, you better think again. This is about that kids right to read a book without getting his mind warped.
Maybe that turns you on Seinfled, maybe that's how you get your kicks... you and your good time buddies.
Well i got a flash for ya, joy boy. Part time is over.
You got 7 days, Seinfeld, that is one week.

26 and counting
02-13-08, 01:18 PM
"Art Vandelay? This is my boyfriend?"
"That's your boyfriend."
"What does he do?"
"He's an importer."
"Just imports? No exports?"
"He's an importer-exporter. Okay?"

"So, what does he import?"
"Uh, chips."
"Oh. What kind of chips?"
"Potato."
"Ah."
"Some corn."
"And what does he export?"
"Diapers."

26 and counting
02-13-08, 01:21 PM
Jack Klompus: Do you think I take everything everybody offers me? You offered me sponge cake yesterday. Did I take it?
Morty Seinfeld: You said you didn't want it!
Jack: Of course I wanted it! I love sponge cake!
Morty: Then who the hell said you couldn't have any? I mean what the hell do I care whether you have sponge cake?
Jack: Because I saw the look on your face last week when I took the scotch tape!
Morty: Ahh! So you got the scotch tape! I've been looking all over for it!


I love this exchange because it reminds me of the sponge cake episode in Curb Your Enthusiasm.

26 and counting
02-13-08, 01:26 PM
JERRY: Hiya, Jack.

(Morty gets out of the car, shuts the door and leans against it.)

MORTY: (indicating) So, how d'you like this?

JACK: Who's car?

MORTY: It's mine.

JACK: Yours?

MORTY: That's right. My son bought it for me.

JACK: He what?

MORTY: My son bought me the car. It's a present.

JACK: (disbelief) You bought it?

JERRY: That's right. I bought it.

MORTY: You ever see one so nice?

JACK: Some car.

MORTY: You wanna take a ride?

JACK: No, thank you.

MORTY: C'mon, take a ride.

JACK: I don't wanna take a ride.

MORTY: Why not?

JACK: I don't feel like taking a ride. Do I have to take a ride?!

JERRY: He doesn't wanna take a ride.

MORTY: Uh huh.

JACK: (worked up) What d'you think? I've never ridden in a Cadillac before? Believe me, I've ridden in a Cadillac hundreds of times. Thousands.

MORTY: (skeptical) Thousands?!

JACK: What? D'you think you're such a big shot now, because you got a Cadillac?

MORTY: (dismissive) Ahh!

JACK: (dismissive) Yaah!

b-ball-lunachick
02-13-08, 01:33 PM
This thread is great. :D I liked this episode too:



WINONA: So, where are we gonna go eat?
JERRY: I thought we'd eat at the Gentle Harvest.
WINONA: Ooh, I love that place, but it's usually so crowded. Can we get a table?
JERRY: Ah, don't worry. I made reser... (catches himself)
WINONA: You made what?
JERRY: I uh, I uh, I arranged for the appropriate accommodation. And then, Knick
tickets, floor seats.
WINONA: How did you get these?
JERRY: Got 'em on the street, from a scal... (catches himself again) A uh, one
of those guys.
WINONA: What guys?
JERRY: You know, the guys, that uh, they sell the tickets for the sold-out
events.

and then later in the show:


WINONA: (laughs) Oh, by the way. That TV Guide I gave you, I need it back.
JERRY: Why?
WINONA: Well, I'm doing a report on minorities in the media, and I wanted to use
that interview with Al Roker.
JERRY: Well, it's too late. I gave it to Elaine, and she's already on her way to
give it to George's father.
WINONA: Jerry, I really need it back. It, it is mine.
JERRY: You can't give something and then take it back. I mean, what are you...
(catches himself)
WINONA: What?
JERRY: A uh, a person that uh...
WINONA: A person that what?
JERRY: Well, a person that gives something and then they're dissatisfied and
they wish they had, had never uh...
WINONA: And?
JERRY: ...give, given it to the person that they originally gave it to.
WINONA: You mean like, an Indian giver?!
JERRY: I'm sorry, I'm not familiar with that term.


:lol:

PalmerGA
02-13-08, 02:57 PM
The episodes with Lloyd Bridges (RIP) in them were great. "Mandelbaum, Mandelbaum!". When Izzy Mandelbaum (Bridges) throws his back out trying to prove that he's the #1 Dad . "It's go time!" :lol:

26 and counting
02-13-08, 03:07 PM
I just watched the episode where Elaine was a horrible dancer and Kramer had that friend Brody who bootlegged movies. George tried to bootleg a movie to prove to this girl Anna that he was a bad boy, and Kramer had this great line:

"Jerry, George got arrested."
"What?"
"Yeah. He went down at the Beekman. He tried to lam, but they cheesed him."

:lol: I don't even know what that means!

tdel23
02-13-08, 04:06 PM
Hello... Welcome to movie phone...
You have selected Agent Zero. If this is correct please press one now...
You have selected Brown Eyed Girl. If this is correct please press one now...
<pause> Why don't you just tell me the movie you have selected?

Great scene, one of my favs!!

JavyVazquezIsSick
02-13-08, 04:20 PM
Jerry: Mr. Marbles?

JeterForPresident
02-13-08, 04:55 PM
Jerry: Mr. Marbles?

The Chicken Roaster, great episode. That is such an underrated line from that episode with so many classic lines. My roommate and I love Mr. Marbles.

(I apologize if these quotes aren't dead on accurate, I am just typing from memory, not wasting time looking them up)

"Bad chicken, MESS YOU UP!"

"Kenny!!!, Kenny!!!"

"That's not gonna be good for anyone"

"You wouldn't eat broccoli if it was deep fried in chocolate sauce"

PalmerGA
02-13-08, 07:29 PM
The Chicken Roaster, great episode. That is such an underrated line from that episode with so many classic lines. My roommate and I love Mr. Marbles.

(I apologize if these quotes aren't dead on accurate, I am just typing from memory, not wasting time looking them up)

"Bad chicken, MESS YOU UP!"

"Kenny!!!, Kenny!!!"

"That's not gonna be good for anyone"

"You wouldn't eat broccoli if it was deep fried in chocolate sauce""Vile weed!" :lol:

"The Straw"
02-13-08, 07:43 PM
:lol: don't forget the double dip with the chips! :D I still think of that bit every time I'm eating veggies/dip or chips/dip at a party...

"That's like putting your whole mouth in the Dip" :-rofl-:

CallOfTheCrow
02-13-08, 09:25 PM
"Vile weed!" :lol:

One of my alltime favorite lines.

NYYFAN
02-13-08, 09:52 PM
Kramer adopts a highway...:lol:

bobbymagee
02-13-08, 09:57 PM
Hellooooooooooooo!!!!! The noise in the stomach one, funny funny funny
Helllllllllllloooooooooooooo!!!!

26 and counting
02-13-08, 10:34 PM
"You sold me a hair with a cake around it" - Elaine

and cinnamon bobka vs. chocolate bobka. cinnamon bobka being the lesser bobka.:lol:

JeterForPresident
02-13-08, 10:42 PM
"You sold me a hair with a cake around it" - Elaine

and cinnamon bobka vs. chocolate bobka. cinnamon bobka being the lesser bobka.:lol:

Another bobka??? Cinnamon bobka takes a backseat to no bobka...cinnamon, cinnamon, cinnamon.

Nothing like a bobka or a marble rye!

26 and counting
02-13-08, 11:09 PM
And who could forget Babu Bhatt? "Jerry Seinfeld very bad, very very bad man."

Barb51850
02-14-08, 01:09 PM
There are too many good ones to list. It would take a week.

One that I love is when George is engaged to Susan, and he wants to break it off but doesn't know how. Kramer tells him to ask Susan to sign a pre-nup. This is what happens:

George: Listen…there’s something that’s been on my mind and we haven’t really talked about it. I-it’s kind of important to me.
Susan: What is it?
George: Well I-I put a lot of thought into this and I think I would like you to sign a prenuptual agreement.
Susan: A pre-nup?
George: Yeah.
[Susan bursts out laughing]
George: What’s so funny?
Susan: Hahahaha…You don’t have any money. I make more money than you do. Haha. Yeah, give me the papers I’ll sign ‘em.

JavyVazquezIsSick
02-14-08, 03:35 PM
I love that Churchill quote :)

26 and counting
02-14-08, 03:38 PM
Joe DiMaggio dunks his donut?

Keith Hernandez spit on me!

I punched Mickey Mantle in the mouth!

Well, Buhner was a good prospect, no question about it.
But my baseball people loved Ken Phelps' bat. They kept saying 'Ken
Phelps , Ken Phelps'.

And I can tell you this, chaos does not work for
the New York Yankees! Not as long as I'm running the show!

26 and counting
02-14-08, 03:47 PM
Here's a good link to the best Seinfeld sports moments.:

http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page3/story?page=katcher/sports_seinfeld

4bronxbombers
02-14-08, 04:55 PM
There are too many good ones to list. It would take a week.

One that I love is when George is engaged to Susan, and he wants to break it off but doesn't know how. Kramer tells him to ask Susan to sign a pre-nup. This is what happens:

George: Listen…there’s something that’s been on my mind and we haven’t really talked about it. I-it’s kind of important to me.
Susan: What is it?
George: Well I-I put a lot of thought into this and I think I would like you to sign a prenuptual agreement.
Susan: A pre-nup?
George: Yeah.
[Susan bursts out laughing]
George: What’s so funny?
Susan: Hahahaha…You don’t have any money. I make more money than you do. Haha. Yeah, give me the papers I’ll sign ‘em.

:roflmao: :roflmao:

b-ball-lunachick
02-14-08, 07:37 PM
Fusilli Jerry is on tonight. :D

All I have to say is ASSMAN!!

yankswn23
02-15-08, 09:34 AM
Fusilli Jerry is on tonight. :D

All I have to say is ASSMAN!!

Im Kosmo Kramer...Assman..

George's Mom: Kramer made a pass at me.. He stopped short and made a grab..
Frank:He stopped short.. that's my move..Ill kill him!!

woman:What was that at the end..
George: a counterclockwise swirl..
woman:What's that on your hand...crib notes.. (angrily) you got crib notes..
George: It's a very complicated move, i couldn't remember it all..

George: let me ask you this was there a knuckle involved..
Elaine:Yes ...
George: that is my move...he stole my move.
Elaine: Why am I not suprised...

jobasfistpump62
01-13-09, 07:10 AM
The quote goes something like this...

Elaine (to Jerry): Something bad is going to happen to you someday. It HAS to.

Jerry: No. I'll be fine.

Jersey Yankee
01-13-09, 09:46 AM
Sponge-worthy and yadda-yadda.

yankswn23
01-13-09, 11:05 AM
kramer: So the mugger comes thru, and he starts choking me, so im fighting him off with one hand and driving the bus with the other, so i kick him out ya know at the next stop..
Jerry: you kept making all the stops?
kramer: well they kept ringing the bell..

yankswn23
01-13-09, 11:07 AM
Steinbrenner : Nice to meet you.

George : Well, I wish I could say the same, but I must say, with all due respect, I find it very hard to see the logic behind some of the moves you have made with this fine organization. In the past twenty years you have caused myself, and the city of New York, a good deal of distress, as we have watched you take our beloved Yankees and reduced them to a laughing stock, all for the glorification of your massive ego!

Steinbrenner : Hire this man!

BonusCantos
01-13-09, 11:10 AM
Believe it or not,
George isn't at home.
Please leave a message at the beep.
I must be out, or I'd pick up the phone,
Where could I be?
Believe it or not, I'm not home.

yankswn23
01-13-09, 11:23 AM
[Rings]

KRAMER: Helloo and welcome to Movie phone. If you know the name of the
movie you'd like to see, press one.

GEORGE: Come on. Come on.

KRAMER: Using your touch-tone keypad, please enter the first three
letters of the movie title, now.

(George presses 3 keys)

KRAMER: You've selected ... Agent Zero? If that's correct, press one.

GEORGE: What?

KRAMER: Ah, you've selected ... Brown-Eyed Girl? If this is correct,
press one.

(George looks baffled)

KRAMER: Why don't you just tell me the name of the movie you've
selected.

GEORGE: Chunnel?

KRAMER: To find the theater nearest you, please enter your five digit
zip-code, now.

(George enters his zip-code)

KRAMER: Why don't you just tell me where you want to see the movie?

GEORGE: Lowes Paragon, 84th and Broadway.

KRAMER: (picks up paper) Chunnel, is playing at the Paragon 84th Street
cinema in the main theater at 9:30 PM.

GEORGE: Yeah, now I gotcha! (hangs up the phone and rushes out the
door)

KRAMER: It's also playing in theater number two at 9:00.

Trish
01-13-09, 11:38 AM
Was that necessary?:eek:

Soriambi
01-13-09, 11:41 AM
Was that necessary?:eek:

It was his favorite Seinfeld quote.

Trish
01-13-09, 11:42 AM
It was his favorite Seinfeld quote.
holy carp.

brosiusbuddy
01-13-09, 11:48 AM
Steinbrenner - "Mr. and Mrs. Costanza, George is dead."

Frank Costanza - "How could you trade Jay Buhner!?!?"

brosiusbuddy
01-13-09, 11:51 AM
George, "I'm an architect"
Woman, "What do you design?"
George, "Railroads mostly"
Woman, "I thought engineers designed railroads"
George, "They can"

yankswn23
01-13-09, 12:10 PM
Sorry trish, didnt realize I hit Ctrl to the top of the page, now its the part that is one of my favorites :)

xenadanielle
01-13-09, 12:11 PM
Sorry trish, didnt realize I hit Ctrl to the top of the page, now its the part that is one of my favorites :)

Now that it is shorter I read it. ;) And that is one of my favorites too!

True story: one time my ex recorded our outgoing answering machine message in the moviefone guy's voice, saying "If you'd like to leave a message, press one NOW!" etc. It totally confused his mom. One day there was a message from her, talking to the machine: "I pushed one, but now I can't leave a message! What am I supposed to do?" :lol:

Trish
01-13-09, 12:16 PM
Sorry trish, didnt realize I hit Ctrl to the top of the page, now its the part that is one of my favorites :)

:lol: It's no big deal :lol:

yankswn23
01-13-09, 12:41 PM
Now that it is shorter I read it. ;) And that is one of my favorites too!

True story: one time my ex recorded our outgoing answering machine message in the moviefone guy's voice, saying "If you'd like to leave a message, press one NOW!" etc. It totally confused his mom. One day there was a message from her, talking to the machine: "I pushed one, but now I can't leave a message! What am I supposed to do?" :lol: the computer dork i am, I set up a message service when I was in highschool so that when you called our home phone and it got to the machine the computer answered and put the voicemail in the appropriate box for the number pushed, this was running smoothly for a while bt back then computer hard drives were like 40mb and that filled up in like a month.